Balance. Purpose. Enlightenment.
Insightful Virtue Tolerance
There’s so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, That it behooves the most of us to get along with the rest of us. – Anon
I’d been a Lemurian student for about a year when I began studying the Lemurian virtues. The insightful virtue Tolerance was one of them that I breezed through, pretty sure that was someone else’s problem. Looking back now, I realize this opinion was a red flag indicating a need to look at things more carefully. But I was clueless then.
But I was learning a lot about myself and could recognize some areas I needed to work on and change. When I came to the part of the lesson that talks about the need to look back on our thoughts and actions to discover the learning they hold for us, I started thinking about a guy I used to work with. He was always joking around and making personal comments I felt were inappropriate. I considered him a loudmouth, a shallow person I didn’t want to know. And that’s how I treated him.
Eventually, our company assigned him to an overseas position and a little bit later, I went there on a business trip. He was the one assigned to sponsor me. “Oh Lord,” I mourned, “What a trip this will be!”
Was I ever wrong! He couldn’t have been more solicitous of my needs. He welcomed me into his home where I observed his heartwarming interactions with his wife and children. He was a gentle and loving man. My view of his public persona had led me to completely miss what a fine person he was.
I hadn’t thought much about the fact that a lot of us act differently in public than we do at home. And it may have been that some other facet of his life had changed him; I don’t really know. But if I’d used the insightful virtue, Tolerance, and observed this coworker more carefully, I might not have been so surprised at the apparent change.
Thinking back over this experience, I could see how snap judgments about people – based on my intolerance of ways different from my own – often caused me to miss out on good relationships. Too often, I exhaust myself stewing over some real or imagined wrong. Or worse, I might lose out on the best of all human experiences – gaining a friend.
Tolerance is a tough virtue to build into ourselves, especially when others might not seem to consider it worth a second thought. But for those of us who aspire to become finer, better, and nobler people, it’s essential. What we learn by taking time to consider others’ opinions can open up a whole new and better world for us. So how do we acquire it? One of the Fellowship teachers suggested an interesting way to start, saying,
Tolerance is pretending that opinions which disagree with yours are not nonsense.
#tolerance #virtue #Lemurian #UnderstandingPeople #intolerance
Copyright © 2017 Lemurian Fellowship
4 thoughts on “Insightful Virtue Tolerance”
Comments are closed.
In hind sight, I remember being promoted to the position of shop manager when working as a tractor/trailer mechanic. There were eleven employees and I had rules and standards which I felt were fair to everyone, and I would even bend the rules from time to time, so things would run smoothly and without incident, and things went well for a good while. There were a couple of guys, one of which I knew very well, who thought I could be a little more “laid back,” and continued to break the rules. This eventually led to open conflict whereas I recommended discipline or their removal. They fought my recommendation, and instead of their removal, I was demoted back to a regular employee, because of my lack of management experience. Had I been more of a tolerant listener, I’m sure the results would have been better.
In more recent times, I occasionally talk to guys from the old neighborhood and touch bases about old friends and old times. Before long, there is the habitual mention of who’s doing what, and I seem to feel weird and awkward if I do not participate in the discussion which usually leads to intolerance. I fail many times in the practice of tolerance. However, in spite of the uneasy feeling of non-participation, my failures are decreasing, and I feel better when I am successful with practicing tolerance.
Some insightful examples of the testing that comes along for any of us trying to live the virtue Tolerance. In the management role, you had certain standards to uphold which are often tested by employees who think you should be a little more “laid back,” and the question is, how far can you bend the rules and still fulfill your responsibilities? You’re right too that it takes a lot of tolerance to work with this kind of situation without getting too harsh or dictatorial.
Talking with old friends (or even new ones) without straying into intolerance of those you talk about, is a challenge for just about all of us. It takes courage to mention a good quality of those you’re talking about at such times, but sometimes this can turn the conversation into more positive channels. And you have the good feeling of not having contributed to the negativity.
Thanks Phil for an interesting and helpful story. It reminds me of how often I ‘jump to conclusions’ – often falsely judging and deciding a situation, when I don’t necessarily know all the angles.
I agree with the author of this blog that “snap judgments” don’t help you develop Tolerance.
Having been a teacher of young adults for many years, I found out early on that much tolerance (and patience!) were needed. I had established ground rules in my classroom and tried to be fair and consistent. There always seemed to be students that I didn’t get along with and vice versa. At first, I just accepted it as part of the occupation. As the years rolled on, I slowly discovered that if I spent more time with these students, I could usually find common experiences, interests and topics other than what I was teaching that we could both relate to. Both our tolerance levels for each other would increase!
I’m not saying I was always successful, there are some folks who just don’t “work and play well with others”, but I did find it was worth the effort.